Why? What’s the secret of the 12 percent who are successful?
It’s not good genetics.
It’s not personal trainers.
It’s not Paleo.
Or CrossFit.
Or Weight Watchers.
The “secret” of the 12 percent who are successful is actually not a secret at all.
It’s simple science. And once you understand it, you will succeed where you’ve failed in the past.
The Number One Thing Holding You Back
But it also holds us back from accomplishing our goals.
Consider this: there are thousands upon thousands of web sites devoted to weight loss and health. We have a world of free information at our fingertips about losing weight, gaining muscle, and getting into better shape.
Yet 67 percent of people in the US are still overweight or obese.
Why?
Because we’re scared.
We unconsciously let our fears hold us back instead of taking action to get the things we want in life.
How do you overcome this?
By acknowledging the underlying reasons why you’re not taking action and facing your fears.
This takes immense courage. It means taking your body, mind, and spirit into the uncomfortable realm of the unknown.
It’s a heck of a lot easier to keep doing what you’re doing.
But to me, the scariest thing of all is doing nothing and wasting years of my life.
The Psychological Mistake All of Us Fall Victim To
Science tells us that one of the biggest reasons so many people fail to achieve their goals every year is a psychological phenomenon called cognitive dissonance, which is a state of tension that occurs when you hold two inconsistent beliefs (i.e., “I am going to lose 20 pounds this year” and “One candy bar isn’t going to kill me”).
For example, when you fail to achieve your goals, you say things like “I just don’t have the time,” “I have a bad back,” or “I don’t have good genes.”
In short, your brain finds ways to downplay your lack of commitment to your goal. When we have “dissonant” beliefs, we tend to stick with the belief that’s more comfortable.
In one experiment detailed in Elliot Aronson’s classic book The Social Animal, people who broke their New Year’s resolutions initially felt bad about themselves for failing, but after a short time succeeded in downplaying the importance of the resolution.
Your brain is the most sophisticated organism in the universe. And it will pull out all the stops to avoid feelings of frustration, fear, and rejection.
So again, it’s crucially important to recognize and acknowledge the reasons why you keep holding yourself back.
Be brutally honest.
Once you understand your fears and how they’re holding you back, you’ll be ready to take the next steps to rewire your psychological impulses.
3 Steps to Get into Shape (and Stay That Way)
Step 1: Make a Commitment
Psychologist Robert Cialdini says in his book, Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion:
“If I can get you to make a commitment, I will have set the stage for your automatic and ill-considered consistentcy with that earlier commitment. Once a stand is taken, there’s a natural tendency to behave in ways that are stubbornly consistent with the stand.”
88 percent of people fail to accomplish their New Year’s resolution because at the start of each year, they make a vague statement like, “I want to lose weight.” They have an idea in their head that they’re going to eat healthier, work out more, etc.
It’s not enough though.
Commitment means more than that. It means taking a firm stand.
Here’s how you do it:
- Write down what you’re committing to. Don’t say, “I want to lose weight”. Say “I will lose weight.” “I will” and “I can” are strong, affirmative statements. The way you frame things is important, because you won’t get in the best shape of your life if you don’t believe wholeheartedly in yourself. Visualize and feel what it will be like.
- Make your commitment highly visible. You want constant reminders of your goal, so you don’t lose sight of it. Save your commitment onto your computer background, place sticky notes everywhere you spend a lot of time, and post it on your refrigerator.
Step 2: Tell Everyone You Know
Here’s where things get fun.
Share your commitment with your friends, family, classmates, co-workers, etc.
If the thought of this makes you cringe, here are two key pieces of research that should convince you to go outside of your comfort zone and give it a chance:
- Researchers Morton Deutsch and Harold Gerard found that people who made a public commitment were more likely to refuse to shift from that commitment later.
- The founders of the Transtheoretical Model of Behavior Change (Diclemente, Norcross & Prochaska) say that you’re more likely to stick with a new habit when you announce it to others.
Another bonus? When you share your commitment with people, they’ll often motivate you and help hold you accountable to accomplish your goal.
I was reading a recent issue of Eating Well magazine and saw this fitting quote from a woman named Nancy Roscigno who has lost 20 pounds and kept it off:
“I was able to stick to my commitment to walk or work out every day because I wanted to prove to my family that no matter how busy you are, you can make exercise a part of your routine.”
Have the courage to tell people what you’re doing and why you’re doing it. You’ll be pleasantly surprised to learn that 99 percent of them will respect and support your effort.
Step 3: Take Action
Now for the most important step: mapping out your action plan.
There are two key parts to this: 1) start small and 2) track your progress. Let’s look at each.
Start SmallResearch shows that the more complex a behavior is, the longer it will take to become a habit.
That’s why starting small is so important.
This video of BJ Fogg, director of the Stanford University Persuasive Technology Lab, will help you understand how and why forming “tiny habits” works:
To increase your odds of success, link your new tiny habit to an existing routine. For example, if you commit to losing 10 pounds, start by doing 5 pushups every day as soon as you wake up.
When you link the behavior change (pushups) to an existing ritual (waking up and getting out of bed), you will be more likely to create a habit that sticks.
And that’s the goal here.
Track Your ProgressImagine you have two friends who both want to lose 20 pounds this year.
One friend takes the following familiar approach: “My work and family situation is just crazy so every week I’ll do my best to work out 3 times on whatever days I have time. I’ll try and eat healthier too.”
The other person takes a slightly different approach: “My work and family situation is crazy … so I’m going to buy a daily planner so I can plan my trips to the gym and my healthy meals each week ahead of time. I’ll write down each of the action steps I take every day to track my progress.”
Which do you think is more likely to be successful?
Planning and tracking your progress sets you up for success.
My daily planner is an integral part of my life (I use the Blue Sky Weekly/Monthly Planner and it costs around $12). It helps me keep my life on track and map out daily action steps for accomplishing my goals. You can find plenty of free versions online or make one yourself.
Research shows that having a plan to follow increases the chance of you forming a habit that sticks. In the book, Changing for Good: A Revolutionary Six-Stage Program for Overcoming Bad Habits and Moving Your Life Positively Forward, written by several distinguished professors of behavioral psychology, tracking your progress in a journal is one of the best ways to stick with your new habit.
Once you have your planner, here’s how to use it:
- Start with one small change you can do every day, and link that change to a routine behavior (remember the example above: “After I get out of bed, I will do 5 pushups”).
- Spend 5 minutes at the start of each week planning out your action steps for each day.
- Slowly increase the action steps you take each week until you reach a series of habits that work for you.
It took me a couple years to form all the habits in my current routine, and I’m constantly adding new ones. Here’s a look at some of the habits I’ve developed to get in the best shape of my life:
- Stretching:
- After I eat breakfast, I will stretch for 5 minutes
- Once I get to work, I will stretch for 5 minutes
- After I eat lunch, I will stretch for 5 minutes
- Before I go to bed, I will use my foam roller
- Once I get home from work, I will stretch and meditate for 20 minutes
- Yoga:
- Once I get home from work on Tuesday, I will do 45 minutes of yoga
- Lifting weights:
- Once I get home from work on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, I will lift weights
- Eating:
- I will eat between 2,500 and 3,000 calories/day
- I will not drink soda or sugary drinks
- I will not eat refined carbohydrates
- I will eat eggs, oatmeal, and a smoothie every day for breakfast
- I will eat a salad every day for lunch
- I will cook a healthy dinner every night
Planning your action steps and tracking your progress is the absolute best thing you can do to increase your productivity and achieve goals that you’ve struggled to achieve in the past.
It works.
On top of that, it’s extremely gratifying. Checking things off your list each day feels good. It gives you visible proof of your progress and holds you accountable for your actions.
There will be days when you just can’t get to the things you planned, and this is perfectly okay.
Accept it and move on. Some days you’ll take two steps forward. Others you’ll take a step back. That’s part of the process of creating permanent behavior change.
Final Thoughts
One final thing that’s perhaps the most important part of this article …
Your mindset will ultimately determine whether you succeed or fail. When you focus your thoughts and feelings on the things you don’t want, those are the things that will manifest in your life.
Studies show that being optimistic can make you healthier, happier, and more successful in life.
So channel your thoughts on what you do want. If you want to get into shape, then visualize yourself in a perfect state of health every day. Imprint that memory inside your head. And trust me, it will become a reality if you do this repeatedly and form healthy habits that become automatic in your brain (using the steps outlined above).
Your past is behind you.
It doesn’t matter anymore.
Starting now you can choose to be healthier, happier, more productive—whatever you want.
So what are you waiting for?
If you want to get in the best shape of your life this year, make a commitment and go make it happen.
I will help you.
Leave a comment on this post and answer this question: What is one area of your life that you’re not happy with?
Don’t just say “I’m not happy with my weight,” tell me the specifics, like, “Scott, my doctor says I need to lose 20 pounds but I don’t know where to start.”
I read every response, and I’ll respond to as many as I can.